Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Lurking Sadness, but for what?

You know that nasty, sad, heart broken, betrayed feeling that you get when a person whom you see everyday just ignores you and runs around having fun with the next person whom you also see everyday. Yup, it's one hell of a bad feeling. The worst part is you don't even like this person much, yet you feel bad on being ignored. I don't know why this happens, maybe because i'm sensitive and get hurt sooner even for the silliest of things, but it's really stupid of me to feel so down.

I've been thinking about this and considering all my options and I've come to the conclusion that maybe i'm just 'jealous'. Yes, i admit it, i don't like being ignored and i totally hate all that extra attention being showered on the other person while i'm not even a living entity to the one who's ignoring me. *Sigh* The funny part is all this sadness, jealousy, hatred and fault finding just because you're (meaning i'm) being ignored. I'm finding that highly amusing right now because, i honestly don't even like this person that much (yes, i'm repeating myself :P). Yeah, i see this person on a regular basis and yeah we talk sometime's but it isn't like this person is a good friend or even a best friend. So i'm slowly beginning to accept this ignorance on their (usually it's just one but sometime's it's a combined twosome) part and though it might take me time to get used to this, i still will be ok at the end of all of this.

So my latest thought on this issue is to ignore the ignorance, stop wasting my energy on someone who doesn't deserve it and be thankful for being blessed with awesome friends, family and of course my oh-so-amazing-funny-creepy-crazy gang mates who i honestly adore except when we have MAJOR fights :P

At the end of the day i deserve to be treated better and if i don't get that treatment then to heck with that person cause I've got some amazing people who love, support and back me anywhere, anytime, anyhow.

So that's my latest thought process. I'll be posting again soon cause this 18 year old turns 19 in 2 weeks, isn't that cool??? So till then, thanks for stopping by and merging with my thoughts.


  1. yeah! honor the place where you are standing today. Look around and honor it, perhaps there is someone behind you feeling ignored. Word to the g streetz!

  2. Ruku! Who is that person ignores you?
    I am in haywire.
    Suddenly some persons come to mind. But cant figure out surely. But I dont want to know that desperately as I always encourage privacy.

  3. No one in our class Arun. I'll tell ya later when I meet you ok :)