Saturday, September 3, 2011

Hopefully taken care of someday

'Take my hand, take a breath, pull me close and take one step, keep your eyes, lined to mine and let the music be your guide...' these are my favorite lines from the song 'Can I Have This Dance?'

Singledom to me signifies the ability to lead an independent life filled with joys and laughs so bright that you never feel alone or lonely. These last couple weeks my perspectives have been changing. I'm beginning to consider the thought of having someone around. All these years it's been the same story with me where in I end up taking care of those around me and begin neglecting myself. The last year and half I've been running around so much and stressing such a lot that I'm neglecting myself yet again. Through all these endeavors I constantly wish there was someone around who'd look after me for a change. It's very difficult to do 5 things at the same time and still find time to remember to take your meds on time or eat on time especially when you have a busy schedule from 5 a.m to 6 p.m.

Life has to move on, you have to continue working, you'll still remain busy as hell but it wouldn't be so bad if you could somehow try to take care of yourself along the way. It's difficult and it's stressful but I have to force myself to bother taking care of myself since I know my health is on the line. Yet, I still continue hoping, wishing and even praying that one day miraculously somebody will just begin to take care of me for a change while I run around with my erratic, hectic schedule and who knows, someone might actually come forward someday, sometime, somewhere.

Ever hopeful and still holding on to whatever faith remains in my being,
Rukz

 

Monday, August 29, 2011

Stormy Thoughts


As the skies darken
Large gusts of wind
Thrust their way through
Leaving nothing unturned in its path.

Selfishly devoted to a senseless state
Shedding tears, making mistakes
Your chest suddenly feels heavy
Your mind juggles all it’s thoughts.

You pave way for a distinct future
You decline any new offer to submit
Life in itself seems to make no sense
Yet you’re disturbed unintentionally.

Hunger, pain, fear, death
All these form a large cloud above your head
So far away are pristine meadows
Serene, calm, tranquil, peaceful.

I am amazed by my surroundings
By how I seem to know so little about them
I refuse to give up my fanatical ways
For they mean the world to me.

Hiding away in an alternate world

Escaping from the grasp of reality
I fear what is to become
For I’ve lost hope not in you
But in myself my friend.

Singledom

Everyday you somehow seem to come across a familiar sight where you see a couple spending time with each other and immersing themselves in a romantic atmosphere. This sight sometimes seems appealing while at times it’s appalling. It’s appealing to other lover’s and die-hard romantics, while it is appalling to singles and those who’ve recently broken up as well as to the general public at times. This is where the question of singledom comes up.

Is being single as great as it is supposed to be or is it just some sort of a phase wherein fear just doesn’t let anything happen?

So let’s start by looking at the bright side of singledom. I’ve been single all my life and it’s been a roller-coaster ride. Being single is sometimes an amazing feeling while at other times it’s just a phase that you can decide to either live with or without. The great thing about being single atleast for me is the enormous amount of freedom and independence that you’ve got going for you. Being single feels like being free to just LIVE without anything pulling you back or having a say in what you can or cannot do. Singledom has been both a blessing and a curse as well. Being single has created an environment where I’m free to interact freely without any second thought and most of the time I’m content with this. But even I have to admit that being single has its disadvantages.

Singles are happy and content with their lives most of the time but, sometimes at a very deep well hidden corner of their hearts lie a tiny bit of curiosity and anxiety to know how it feels like to be on the other side of singledom. For most singles ‘relationships’ are out of bounds, while some don’t want ‘relationships’ and another set of singles are too afraid to actually take a chance and experience something totally new. Singles are usually left behind when it comes to outings exclusively with their ‘couple’ friends and that does leave scars on the single guy/girl making them think as to whether being single really is worth it or not. While I’ m saying this please don’t think that I’m totally biased towards ‘relationships’ or something. As much as I love seeing a couple walking hand in hand, I hate all the backlash, drama, arguments and more when it comes to ‘relationships’. With ‘relationships’ you get 50% happiness and 50% sorrow, but they also bring with them a lot of lessons and an amazing opportunity to really get to know the other individual involved.

Being single by choice is a respectable decision, but can the same be said for being single due to fear? As an individual it’s very difficult to just jump at new opportunities without any forethought. It’s quite natural for someone to be afraid of trying something new but how scared can a person get? Well the answer to that question varies from individual to individual. Personally it’s quite daunting for me since it’s something I’ve never ventured into before, but and there is always a but, I am open to new experiences. For me as an individual trying something new takes time and a lot of patience. I’m not ready yet or so I think, but I guess you should never say never, so I’m going to say ‘maybe’ to a new experience.

At the end of the day when you think about the life led by both singles and couples around us it is a different and unique experience in both cases where you get to both know and learn something new.

Now getting back to the main question behind this long blog post. Singledom: By choice or due to fear? My answer, BOTH. I’m single by choice and quite happy being single but at the same time I’m still afraid of trying something new but I’m not completely against the idea in any case. Experiences are really wonderful, useful and helpful but you have to be ready for it and not just jump carelessly or even blindly at it. So if you’re single then ‘cheers’ to you but the same goes to all you ‘couples’ out there too ;) 

So what do you guys think? Feel free to drop your comments below. Till next time Ciao and bon journee ;)

Rukz

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Amazing World of Blogging

I've been a blogger only for a few months. I love this amazing world of blogging. The freedom it gives you to express yourself and share those expressions with others. It's been a wonderful platform where I could freely let my thoughts flow without interruptions of sorts. The blogging world has opened up amazing opportunities to many people and now many of them are quite popular and well known.

So I'd like all you bloggers out there to help me out with an article i'm working on. So could you please tell me what your thoughts are on the world of blogging, what it has done for you and why you are drawn to it. Thank you for your time and help :)

Cheers
Rukz :D

Monday, May 2, 2011

Labour Day Fun ( May Day to some of you ppl)

Date: May 1st 2011 ; Location's: T-Nagar, Pondy Bazaar, Express Avenue Mall and Spencer Plaza ; Time: 11:15 a.m- 5:30 p.m ; The adventure seekers: Me and my friends M and A (sorry ppl but they appreciate privacy as of now) ; What: Read on to find out

What would 3 of the craziest, weirdest and most hilarious group of friends do when they're exams are about to end and their last exam happens to be 'Value Education' ????? I'll tell ya, they get their wallets ready and run off to the nearest mall or in our case to one of the busiest and the most crowded places EVER i.e Pondy Bazaar, T-Nagar, Chennai, India. Beyond bored, jobless and badly craving our homes and families the 3 of us decided to go out and have some 'FUN' and that's exactly what we did.

It all began with a wait at Chromepet Station for over 45 mts for M thanks to A (idiot!) who forgot to call M and thus she was late. While A and I were waiting for M we were having some normal as well as weird conversations. I was being me and at a point started talking about my hair and getting a hair cut. Much to my surprise A (a guy for crying out loud!) started giving me Hair and Skin Tips. I was like what the hell!!! It was funny really, it was like he ventured into the female world and found his feminine side for the day lol. At one point he was like 'I can talk trends and technology, I really do have the best of both worlds (Hannah Montana much??)'. It was hilarious and i couldn't stop laughing. He gave me ammo that I could use against him for a change. Me and M were making fun of him a lot in the train. We decided then that he would help me with my b'day clothes shopping at the thought of which he was horrified :P It was damn fun talking to him and time passed quite quickly though not quick enough. Soon we saw M descending the stairs in her usual ghost like manner and after she finally arrived looking all fatigued and kinda sick we took the train to Mambalam ( T-Nagar basically) and we sat down in the station for a while so that her queasiness would pass. After about 15 minutes and 1.5 glasses of apple juice later (M didn't entirely drink hers thanks to the honey so it was shared between me, M and A :P ) we finally ventured into Ranganathan street and then walked towards Pondy Bazaar ( from now on referred to as Pondy). Pondy is really quite lovely. So many stores aligned next to each other on both sides of the street. We walked past them all at times stopping to get something. M got a little pouch to keep her mp3 player in and yeah it was cute though kinda costly but hey, this is Chennai after all. We continued walking, stopping every now and then to see something that caught our eye.

Oh yes, I forgot we had to reach Express Avenue Mall (EA) by 2:00-2:30 p.m to get my b'day gift from my bro's (cousin) friend. In case you were wondering what it was, it was a Nokia C1-02 Mobile Phone and a Pack of Cadbury's Celebration :) Now back to our day. So during our sightseeing M asked me if I wanted to go to Flora ( a pretty good dress boutique according to her) and i said yeah, sure. So we headed to Flora. The thing we didn't anticipate was the amount of trouble and help A gave us.

First rule of taking a guy to a clothes store:- DON'T!!!!!! Unless you don't mind dragging him back in, black-mailing him and using other such means to make sure he doesn't leave.


Second rule of taking a guy to a clothes store:- Get ready to get either the silent treatment or some of the most  not-so-nice INSULTS or even FAKE compliments just so that you leave the store as soon as possible (um, A, we're not leaving until me and M actually find something we like or until we've had a thorough browse through so shut up and sit there or be helpful and actually give us your valuable tips (oops!) ). 


Third rule of taking a guy to a clothes store:- Be ready to either receive harsh criticism or even surprisingly a COMPLIMENT. Yup, A who almost always makes fun of me or insults me actually complimented me. That made my day :)


Fourth rule of taking a guy to a clothes store:- Don't ever throw around the words Large (L), Medium (M), Extra Large (XL) and Larger than extra large (XXL) in front of the guy unless you'd like insults or awkard facial expressions and A's expression's were mind blowing as they were the perfect mix of 'What the heck??' and 'Why are you doing this to me?' lolz.

These are the rule's that i've come up with. If you've got anything new please do share :)

After about an hour (we were getting late to reach EA) we exited the store with 2 bags, one for me and one for M with each of us buying 2 tops each. A breathed a huge sigh of relief and even tried revenge by go to the men's section but, we left soon as there wasn't anything that he found interesting. As we were contemplating rushing to EA we decided that we must eat first. So off we went to a restaurant called Ram's Milky Way (something like that, i don't remember) where M and A had ice-creams (almost like sundaes but smaller) for lunch while i had lunch in the form of a mini meal with regular South Indian lunch items and washed it down with mango ripple ice-cream. By then we were late and we took an auto to the station at my expense but that was in vain as we were unable to catch a train as it was filled to the brim and was overflowing with people, people and more people!!! As time was moving on and we were getting more late by the minute we decided to take an auto to EA and shared the auto expense with each of us paying Rs.50/- each. It was worth it since we reached EA in 10 minutes. There we met my bro's friend who gave me my gift and left after accepting my apologies for being late.

Next we entered Hamley's and explored the amazing world of soft-toys, cute cuddly teddy, BARBIE <3, crafts, toy guns, spy gear, mini science experiments and more. After exploring Hamley's I wanted to take a tour of Westside much to the disappointment of M and A. Finally after agreeing to get out in 15 mts we went inside and they showed their disapproval quite clearly, especially A since he was forced into the women's section yet again, hehe :P . I got tired soon and so we exited Westside. We took a circle of the easter special display and then went to Spencer Plaza. A was damn hungry, he was actually raving with hunger and so we went to the food court. While A was devouring his KFC Chicken meal, me and M were having Pepsi while I was opening my gift. The gift, my new phone was really really nice. It was damn cute and i loved it. Ask A and M, they even said that at one point I was glowing lol. So after going through the features and after A was done with his meal we left the food court and then we went and got a memory card for my phone <3. I was troubling M telling her to give me songs and she being the trooper gave me quite a few. Thanks M!!! M wanted to leave soon and so we took one final tour of a cute little shop, the name of which i forgot. After the exploration we left for home or hostel in mine and A's case and for M it was her grand-parents place.

We had a really fun day, filled with loads of fun and laughter. Thanks M and A for a really awesome day. Hoping for more such rocking days and hoping that next time our friend P also joins us and trust me people he's too damn hilarious. Exams come, exams go but friends never ever go and always stay with you ;)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Lurking Sadness, but for what?

You know that nasty, sad, heart broken, betrayed feeling that you get when a person whom you see everyday just ignores you and runs around having fun with the next person whom you also see everyday. Yup, it's one hell of a bad feeling. The worst part is you don't even like this person much, yet you feel bad on being ignored. I don't know why this happens, maybe because i'm sensitive and get hurt sooner even for the silliest of things, but it's really stupid of me to feel so down.

I've been thinking about this and considering all my options and I've come to the conclusion that maybe i'm just 'jealous'. Yes, i admit it, i don't like being ignored and i totally hate all that extra attention being showered on the other person while i'm not even a living entity to the one who's ignoring me. *Sigh* The funny part is all this sadness, jealousy, hatred and fault finding just because you're (meaning i'm) being ignored. I'm finding that highly amusing right now because, i honestly don't even like this person that much (yes, i'm repeating myself :P). Yeah, i see this person on a regular basis and yeah we talk sometime's but it isn't like this person is a good friend or even a best friend. So i'm slowly beginning to accept this ignorance on their (usually it's just one but sometime's it's a combined twosome) part and though it might take me time to get used to this, i still will be ok at the end of all of this.

So my latest thought on this issue is to ignore the ignorance, stop wasting my energy on someone who doesn't deserve it and be thankful for being blessed with awesome friends, family and of course my oh-so-amazing-funny-creepy-crazy gang mates who i honestly adore except when we have MAJOR fights :P

At the end of the day i deserve to be treated better and if i don't get that treatment then to heck with that person cause I've got some amazing people who love, support and back me anywhere, anytime, anyhow.

So that's my latest thought process. I'll be posting again soon cause this 18 year old turns 19 in 2 weeks, isn't that cool??? So till then, thanks for stopping by and merging with my thoughts.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Rukz Methods on how to avoid studying when 'you just have to!!!!'

The clock's ticking 'tick tock tick tock' (yup, its a cliché, i know!!). As the time moves on you get that ominous feeling surrounding you which says 'study! study!' and well what do you do? I for one avoid it till the last minute when i have to scramble around with my notes. Ah!! Isn't this what being a college student is all about?? (well it's like that for me so...you all can have your difference in opinions, i respect them)

So let's get back to the topic. My sure-shot ways of avoiding your textbook for hours (it may or may not be effective and differ's from person to person). Listed below are a few simple methods which help you to avoid studies:-

1. Gather notes ( Only gather, do not read as far as possible) - Gathering notes is a very time consuming process and it take away more than half of your study time per se. So get together with friends, scour the internet and gather, gather, gather away.

2. Play games online- There are so many free gaming sites out there that people are spoilt for choice. My site of choice nowadays is my trustworthy omgpop.com. So people go online and have a blast, interact with people from different nations while battling away with different, fun games. ;)

3. Watch movies- This is something which every student does and thus, doesn't require an explanation per se.

4. Wash clothes- Yes, find the day and time when you're supposed to study to go wash your precious clothes. Make sure that you take you're time washing, rinsing with utmost care and then lovingly hanging them up to dry after which you can take a well deserved resting period maybe even take a nap.

5. Sleep- Take rest, it's pretty important for health. Sleep for maybe an hour or two or if you're game maybe more. You know how it feels when its such a sunny afternoon and you're in your room under the fan and you get this nice feeling which is telling you to just lie down?? Yes, listen to it and be lulled into the world of dreams. How refreshing!!

6. Cook- Food is vital to each and every human being and its yummy when made properly. Take this time to experiment. Go crazy with ingredients and just put in hours of work to make that wonderfully fluffy, yummy, gooey chocolate cake. My experimentation was with eggs, tomatoes and onions and i finally ended up with an overly salted (still digestable :D ) egg bhurji'ish, tomato'ish concoction which wasn't too bad. ;)

So that's about all i got folks. Maybe, i'll add more to the list as i continue to procrastinate. So i hope you had a fun time reading this little note of mine. Do leave you're comment below. Rock On!!